


Never Gonna Be a Hero

by Diary



Category: Glee
Genre: Bechdel Test Fail, Canon Jewish Character, Character Study, Disturbing Themes, Gen, POV Jacob Ben Israel, POV Jewish Character, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6366382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Repost. A look at JBI. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Gonna Be a Hero

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Glee.

Jacob Ben Israel doesn’t believe in superheroes.

Most days, he doesn’t even believe in modern, every day, risk their life for a total stranger heroes.

On the days he does believe in such concepts, he still knows he’s never going to be one of them.

The truth is: Jacob isn’t a nice guy. He has a deep running sadistic streak, and he doesn’t really believe in doing good deeds just for the sake of doing good deeds. If he does something good or nice, he’s going to expect a reward.

In sixth grade, he learned he could put his acute hearing and Sherlockian ability to put pieces together and sell information he learned. So-and-so had a crush on this person, and X was a complete liar and hypocrite.

After his first trip into a dumpster, he considered trying his hardest to make himself anonymous again. He considered it, but then, he realised the reason the moronic jocks had reacted so violently was because people were actually starting to listen when he talked.

Jacob never gave out false information.

At first, he hadn’t really thought about it one way or another. Once he did, however, he realised how valuable the fact he never had was.

People rightfully called him a perverted slime-ball, and some people accused him of lying. Except, he hadn’t lied, he could prove it, and this made him powerful. A trip to the dumpster was traumatising, but he knew better than anyone everyone had parts of them they were desperate to hide, including the jocks.

He did research on how to investigate properly, forced himself not to cry every time he was physically retaliated against, and continued to make tons of pocket money off of idiot classmates who wanted information, or even to just hear what the gossip about them or their loved ones was. He helped rumours circulate but refused to be bribed or terrorised into confirming false ones, though, he could occasionally be bribed or threatened into killing a story.

In eighth grade, he had his first crisis of self.

By then, he could almost always tell when someone was trying to actively hide something from him. His partner in Algebra definitely fit the bill, and so, naturally, he discretely dug and dug. If he ignored the person he was digging, they usually thought their eye-roll inducing attempts at keeping their secret hidden was actually working.

She was the first person he honestly wished he’d never looked into.

Her father was hurting her in a way that went against God, nature, and common, basic human decency, and he was a skinny, gangly kid who liked trying to peek up Rachel Berry’s skirt and scarfing down Nerf candy. He had no idea what to do, and unfortunately, his stomach threatened to make him vomit every time he considered not doing anything.

Eventually, he went to the guidance counsellor, gave him all the evidence he collected, and did all the work in class while she cried to herself about being put in foster care. Whenever someone made fun of her, the person’s dirty laundry quickly found itself all over the school. No one ever made the conscious connection between making fun of her and having their secrets exposed, but a subconscious connection was made, and the teasing was quickly stopped.

The instance changed something in him. He was still a perverted slimeball with a mile-long sadistic streak, but he realised his power went even deeper than he’d thought. He didn’t care if his dispersal of information got a kid teased or broken up with, but he had to draw the line at revealing something to the unforgiving student masses that could legitimately destroy a person’s mental state.

When Quinn Fabray appeared and giggled as he was thrown in a dumpster, he found out about Lucy. It took him a week to debate over, but eventually, he decided she was a pretty little cheerleader who’d marry the big, handsome king, and one day, after the bratty, sociopathic kids were born, when he was too disgusted by the returning fat and her issues with sex, he’d cheat. Who knows if she’d divorce or decide to let it go and try to pretend she’d never found out?

Either way, the fairytale would be over.

He actually felt a little sorry for her. He owned his imperfections and didn’t need anyone to love him so desperately he’d completely change his body.

In any case, if worse ever came to worse, he could use it as blackmail.

Ninth grade came, and he got a blog. The school also got a slushy machine, and he automatically knew this was a terrible idea. He tried to tell Miss Pillsbury, but she struck him as the most incompetent guidance counsellor ever.

By some weird quirk of life, he found himself finding out a lot about the Glee kids a year before they became the Glee kids.

Tina Cohen-Chang didn’t have a genuine stutter, but she once bought him a brownie after she saw Puck steal his lunch money. He left positive anonymous comments about her frankly crappy emo poetry on her MySpace page and decided this and not publishing her secret made them even.

Kurt Hummel was obviously gay and in love with Finn Hudson. He was also terrified of his father, but Jacob couldn’t find anything really bad about the elder Hummel. He was distant as hell, but there was no abuse or neglect involved.

There were other things, some of which he published and some of which he didn’t.

Life went on, and it got to a point there was a lot of stuff he knew he wished he didn’t.

Gay kids who were much worse off than Kurt, a transgender kid, abortions, and sickeningly, even more abuse. He went to Miss Pillsbury, demanded a piece of candy for his information, and made plans to try to handle things if she couldn’t.

He missed the days when the biggest secret someone had was the fact they still slept with a nightlight or kissed Q on the lips when they claimed to be exclusively dating G. He missed them, but he had no plans on going back. He was going places after graduation. He wasn’t exactly sure where, but he knew there was always a place for people good at digging up juicy information people could be reasonably sure was true.

Lauren Zizes appeared seemingly out of nowhere, and he found himself impressed. She wanted on the wrestling team, and she got herself on it, even though, technically, her supportive parents deserved their due. She wanted to learn how to do investigative reporting, and Jacob found himself teaching her how to use technology to aid in this. She started going on-site and operating his video camera. It made it hard to follow boys into the men’s room, but none of the jocks dared touch him when she was around.

Some part of him really liked her, but unlike Rachel, she was a valuable ally, and any inappropriate moves could turn her into a powerful enemy.

He wasn’t actually surprised when she joined Glee.

If he weren’t so terrified of Sue Sylvester, he would have told her to just leave the club alone. Rachel, Finn, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, and Kurt were a personality clash waiting to happen, especially in regards to Mr Schue. If she hadn’t given them a common enemy to band together against, someone more powerful than the average school bully, none of the closeness would have happened. They would have disbanded soon enough on their own.

Instead, she gave them a god-like figure reining fury, and anyone with any sense of history knows people will die before willingly submitting to any deity but their chosen one. Then, she sent those loyal to her in, and Jacob just gave up on her. Her schemes used to be impressive, but government agencies all over the world had strict policies in place to hopefully keep undercover agents from deflecting, and she sent a former outcast, a confused, insecure lesbian, and a genuinely nice if completely dim girl into a club purporting to espouse acceptance.

Oh, and on said note, all of the above are teenagers.

What did she expect, really?

After Lauren joined and decided to run for Prom Queen, he was nearby when Lucy Quinn almost literally spat at her honest friendliness. He’d felt a little disappointed in Lauren; she honestly expected the pretty little cheerleader to engage in friendly competition against someone she thought should just wear a black burka and never speak? Still, he told her, if she wanted, there was information on Quinn Fabray, but she’d have to find it on her own.

What he didn’t tell her was he had plenty of information on Noah Puckerman, and it would make the boy a figure of pathetic pitifulness who was forever stripped of his badass status if leaked. He’d never used it due to the feeling he got knowing just how truly miserable a life the boy who tormented him would have once high school ended, but should Puck ever hurt her badly enough her usual toughness went doormat, Jacob wouldn’t even think once before pulling the information up and watching it go viral.

Prom happened, and suddenly, things made a lot more sense.

Honestly, he’s ashamed of himself. David Karofsky is big, loud in the hallways, quiet in the classes, and once made out with Brittany at a party. He’s physically affectionate with his fellow sports players, minus Finn, and dated Santana. Buying into stereotypes is something a good investigator is never supposed to do, but Jacob has to admit he never once thought Karofsky might be anything other than heterosexual. He never even stopped to wonder why Kurt became such a big target so suddenly.

Jacob’s well aware often homophobes are completely straight.

Sure, he never bought the idea Santofsky was a legit couple, but he thought it was some kind of deal. Karofsky helps her get Prom Queen and throw suspicion off her big lesbian crush on Brittany, and his popularity increases and maybe he gets to touch her breasts or receives some oral gifts from her.

But Prom happened, and Jacob saw Karofsky’s face as he walked away from the dance floor containing Kurt.

Damn if that boy wasn’t stupidly head-over-heels and desperately frightened, he reflected.

Afterwards, Jacob worked for weeks to find out who all had been in on the prank. Once he got the names of the ones he was sure of, he deposited them anonymously on Sylvester’s desk and pinned to a picture of Kurt and his private school boyfriend with Kurt wearing the crown and holding the sceptre. She may suck at destroying Glee, but he had more faith in her competency than he did in Miss Pillsbury’s.

Then, he dutifully added Karofsky to his list of people, along with the Glee club, the girl who’d had two abortions, the cross-dressing boy, and the numerous other high-risk kids, some of which were victims and some of which were bullies, to follow and moved on.

Most of the bullies don’t have an excuse, he knows. The ones who break people down out of pure sadistic malice, incapable of ever feeling sorry or even achieving the ability to empathise, can get hit by a bus for all he cares. But those who do, he follows, and hopefully, he’ll be able to prevent it should they get to cusp of making a tragic mistake.

Jacob Ben Israel doesn’t believe in superheroes, and he’s sceptical of modern, every day, risk their lives for total strangers kind. He doesn’t have any illusion about ever being one of those. He’s a petty, perverted slime-ball who demands a reward for every good deed he does.

But all things considered, he’s proud of the work he does. Sometimes, he makes people cry, and sometimes, he helps possibly save a life. Either way, he never lies, and he’ll proudly defend his skills against those who would call him a hack. JBI doesn’t take shortcuts, he doesn’t give up when it looks like the truth is impossible to reach, and he may repeat rumours but he doesn’t rely on fiction to make himself worth listening to.  


End file.
